


Unconditionally

by unicorndads



Category: Gandrew - Fandom
Genre: Consensual Sex, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Rape Aftermath, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:00:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23607946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicorndads/pseuds/unicorndads
Summary: After a traumatic experience, Garrett helps Andrew learn to trust again.*Explicit scenes are consensual!*
Relationships: Andrew Siwicki/Garrett Watts
Comments: 72
Kudos: 119





	1. That Night

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This story mentions rape/sexual assault. There is nothing explicit and in the moment, but if this might trigger you, proceed with caution.  
> Sexual Assault Help Line: 1-800-656-4673  
> Crisis Text Line: crisistextline.org  
> National Suicide Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
> 
> This is a work of fiction. I would never wish this situation on Andrew or anyone else.
> 
> Note (7/10): This story focuses on the comfort and emotional support between a survivor and his best friend. Obviously, there are many different aspects that are involved following the aftermath of such an event, but I chose not to explore those in this particular fic, again wanting to focus primarily on the relationship between Andrew and Garrett. I use Jeffree and the power he does have as a sort of scapegoat to keep the story simple. This is not very realistic (probably especially given what is now known about Jeffree) for most cases, and I hope this does not come across as advocating against taking other actions (legal, medical, etc.) that one may choose to pursue. Take care of yourselves and loved ones.
> 
> Absolutely no disrespect to Garrett or Andrew. I love both of them. They are my dads even if they aren't an irl couple.

It was late when Garrett received the call. When he glanced at the screen, he felt a sense of bitter regret flare up. _Shane Dawson._ He normally would have ignored it, blaming it on the late hour if Shane bothered trying again the next day, but something compelled him to pick up. "What?"

"Garrett, you need to come right now."

"Wha-"

"It's Andrew. He needs you."

"Send me the address."

Garrett had no idea what to expect, but he knew he had a sour taste in his throat the moment Andrew told him he was going to that party, the one where only the YouTubers with the most clout were invited. It wasn't jealousy - Garrett wouldn't have gone even if he was invited - but rather a sense of protectiveness. He knew Andrew would have a miserable time, surrounded by so many strangers. But he was proud of his friend for moving up in the world, so he held his tongue.

When Garrett arrived, faster than he should have if he had been going the speed limit, the party was still in full swing. It was inside someone's large mansion and the pulsing music and laughter made Garrett's panic feel almost unwarranted. He was quickly spotted by Shane and Jeffree, who pulled him aside to a more secluded area. "What's going on?" he demanded.

Shane's face was a portrait of the emotions he was feeling, so he wasn't much help except for escalating the worry Garrett was feeling. His mouth continuously gaped open like a goldfish, but he was unable to get a word in. His eyes brimming with tears just agitated Garrett more. "Where is he? Take me to him!" he demanded.

Jeffree placed a hand on Garrett's shoulder. Garrett pulled away. "We will. But we need to prepare you first. Listen, I'm just going to cut straight to the chase. Andrew was raped."

Blood drained from Garrett's body; he felt entirely empty as he tried to register Jeffree's words. Then, like a trapped bull, anger surged in full force. "What the fuck?" Garrett didn't care if the whole party heard him. "Who did it? Where the fuck is he? Take me to him now! I'm gonna kill-"

"The man has been dealt with, and will continue to be dealt with," Jeffree quickly interjected. "He's going to pay for as long as he lives, I can promise you that." Jeffree's chilling expression did calm Garrett a touch; he didn't much care for the human, but he had to admit Jeffree was a powerful force to be reckoned with.

"So can I see him?" Garrett asked, trying to steady his voice. He knew he couldn't see Andrew in such a state.

"He looks-" Shane blurted out. Again, his eyes began to water. "He's not in the best shape." Garrett clenched his jaw to keep from screaming.

"Not the best, but certainly not the worst," Jeffree added, shooting Shane a warning look. "He let us clean him up from the waist up, but after that he just kept asking for you. If you can-"

Garrett nodded. He would do whatever he needed to. "Okay. Just take me to him. Please."

Jeffree and Shane shared a glance before leading Garrett to another room. They opened the door and stepped back, allowing Garrett to enter the darkened room by himself.

Garrett didn't move; he took this moment to center himself. He waited until his heart no longer felt like beating straight out of his chest before walking in slowly, approaching the lump on the bed. He knelt down, peering at the sliver of face that showed underneath the covers. It was hard to distinguish any features in the dark. "Andrew," Garrett said softly. "It's me.

An eye opened through the gap, taking in the form of Garrett. In a rush, the covers were thrown off and Andrew reached out, gripping the back of Garrett's neck and pulling him close. 

Garrett impulsively wrapped his arms around Andrew, feeling the smaller body trembling in his arms. He tried to find that delicate balance between squeezing him for dear life and holding him tenderly. "I'm here," he cooed. "I'm here now." He let a hand gently run over Andrew's back, but a moment later Andrew hissed in pain. Garrett pulled away as if he had been burned; he would have preferred that over hurting Andrew. "Oh my god, I'm sorry."

"He has a nasty bruise on his back," Garrett heard Jeffree say quietly, now a few feet behind him.

Frustrated, Garrett gently laid his arms back down across Andrew's shoulders. "I'm sorry," he repeated. 

Andrew rested his chin on Garrett's shoulder, clinging to the front of his shirt. "Take me home," he whimpered in his ear.

"Of course," Garrett quickly agreed. Then he quickly realized that there was no way in hell he was leaving Andrew alone. "Wait, no. Stay with me for tonight, okay?"

Andrew whined. "Yeah, home."

"Come on." Garrett released Andrew and slowly stood back up. He reached out to take Andrew's hands, helping him shakily to his feet. Garrett looked him over in the bit of light that showed through the door. Andrew was in his clothes, so there wasn't much to look at except what seemed to be a black eye. Grimacing, Garrett took a hold of Andrew's hand. "Are you good to walk?"

Andrew nodded. He walked with Garrett toward the door, but a few steps later, he stopped and winced. 

"Do you need me to-?"

Andrew shook his head. "I'll be fine. Let's go. Please." Garrett squeezed Andrew's hand, happy to feel him squeeze back.

The going was slow, but soon the two men made it past the oblivious party goers to Garrett's car, with Shane and Jeffree close behind. Garrett helped Andrew into the passenger's seat, shutting the door as gently as he could.

Shane held out Andrew's phone, keys, and wallet. Garrett pocketed them with a thankful nod. "Keep me updated?" Shane asked in a small voice.

"Yeah. Thanks for calling me."

Garrett drove home in silence. He took this time to try to wrap his mind around the situation. It felt almost unreal. But every time he glanced over at Andrew, staring out the window with visible pain written on his face, he knew it was very real and that he needed to be there, he needed to be fully present, for his best friend. 

Safely back home, Garrett helped Andrew inside as slowly as before. Garrett didn't mind though; he was too concerned to be bothered. When Garrett deposited Andrew gently on the couch, Andrew rolled onto his side right away, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. Garrett knelt down and just watched him. He might have been able to convince himself he was just sleeping, if it wasn't for the pained creases in his forehead.

Garrett gave Andrew a few moments before lightly placing his fingers on his knee. "Why don't we get you cleaned up, okay? Then we can go to sleep." Andrew opened his eyes and stared at Garrett for a second. The dead look in his eyes made Garrett want to break down and cry. Finally, Andrew nodded and started sitting up.

Garrett helped him up, and then helped him to the bathroom. Before he could say anything, Andrew began stripping. Soon, he was fully naked. He was red with embarrassment, but he slumped forward, showing how little he felt he had left to lose.

Garrett looked him over silently. It was definitely a black eye on his face and there were a few light bruises spattered across his skin, but nothing looked too serious. Though it was a tight squeeze, Garrett started to circle around Andrew to look at the bruise on his back. He sucked in his breath; it looked absolutely terrible, like a giant hand print marking him.

Andrew quickly whipped around, his eyes wide. "Um, stay in front of me, please," he whispered.

Garrett understood right away. He nodded. "Yeah, of course. I'm so sorry." Andrew just nodded gratefully. "Anything Shane and Jeffree didn't get to that we need to take care of?" Other than a bruise on one of his hips, Andrew's lower body didn't seem to have any visible marks.

"I think I was bleeding," Andrew said in a small voice.

"Oh. Oh! Okay. Uh, can I look?" Garrett asked, a deep blush creeping up his neck. This was far from how he wanted to see Andrew like this. 

Andrew took a deep breath, nodding reluctantly. "Just...stay in front of me?" he pleaded.

"I will," Garrett promised. He considered his next steps carefully. The easiest way to check would be to just have Andrew bend over, but that obviously wasn't an option. "Stay here." Garrett went to his room and then back to the bathroom, bustling around to get any materials he might need together. Fumbling with everything in his hands, he managed to get everything set up near where he would be working. Gently moving Andrew out of the way, he added the finishing touch: a small, fluffy blanket. "It won't be the most comfortable but-"

"Anything has to be more comfortable than-" Unable to finish, Andrew just sighed and walked onto the blanket. He slowly lowered himself onto his back, keeping his knees bent. His legs impulsively squeezed together as he stared up at Garrett, who was now kneeling in front of him.

"Andrew," Garrett said softly. "I know it's embarrassing. I wish we didn't have to do this, but I want to make sure you're okay. If there was tearing or anything, it needs to be looked at." Andrew didn't respond, continuing to look up with a terrified expression. Garrett felt helpless; he refused to do anything Andrew didn't want, but he felt that this had to happen one way or another. "Is there someone else you'd be more comfortable-?"

"No. You. I only want you doing this."

Garrett's lips automatically twitched into a small smile. He touched Andrew's knee. "Then let me do this?" Drawing in a shaky breath, Andrew slowly separated his legs. "I'm gonna pull you forward, okay?" After Andrew nodded a small nod, Garrett lifted Andrew's legs to slide him closer, resting them on his thighs. Garrett didn't allow himself to think of anything other than the task at hand as he cleaned up the dried blood and looked for the source.

Andrew whimpered throughout the whole ordeal, breaking Garrett's heart into more and more pieces. He didn't let himself look up at him, though. He knew if he did he would feel compelled to stop.

"Done," Garrett finally murmured. He glanced at Andrew and saw tears streaking down his cheeks. His own tears stung at the back at his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Andrew," he said softly, his voice breaking. "It's over, I promise."

Andrew nodded. "Thank you," he whispered. The tears still flowed.

"Can-can I hug you?" Garrett choked out.

Andrew nodded again and struggled to sit up. Garrett reached out, desperate to comfort the man in front of him, and pulled him up into his lap. Andrew dug his head into the crook of Garrett's neck, his sobs now audible. Garrett held onto him tightly, running his hands softly over his bare shoulders. "It's done. I'm here. You're okay." He continued to let out every comforting thing he could think to say. He let a hand wander up past Andrew's neck to the back of his head. 

Andrew jerked in Garrett's arms, causing him to lift his arms off once more. "Don't," Andrew pleaded. 

"Shit, I'm so sorry, Andrew" Garrett whispered. He felt so hopeless, like he was messing everything up.

Andrew heaved in steadying breaths. "I'm sorry," he whimpered. "You can touch me. Just please don't pull my hair."

Garrett felt sick to his stomach. "Never. Andrew, I would never."

"I know. I'm sorry," Andrew sobbed out. His face twisted with pain as more tears squeezed out of his shut eyes. "I'm so sorry."

Garrett just wanted to scream at the universe for being so cruel, but he chose to just take a deep breath to keep from raising his voice. "You have nothing to apologize for," he stated firmly. "You've done nothing wrong." Andrew let out a small whimper. "Andrew, look at me."

Andrew slowly opened his eyes. Garrett stared into them, hoping to find any hint of light that was usually in them. They were so dark. Garrett reached forward and gently brushed Andrew's cheek. Andrew let out a small sigh, letting his head lean into the touch. Garrett let his hand rest more solidly.

"You've done _nothing_ wrong," Garrett repeated pointedly. "You are not at fault here, you hear me? You have nothing to feel bad or guilty about. If I do something wrong, _tell me_. And if I seem upset or frustrated, I _promise_ it's not because of you. Okay?"

Andrew averted his gaze and visibly swallowed. "Okay."

"Okay. Good." Garrett stroked Andrew's damp cheek once before pulling his hand away. "So, um, before you get dressed again, do you want to take a quick shower?"

Andrew glanced down. Suddenly remembering their position and the state he was in, he turned bright red and moved back, off of Garrett. He bent his knees to cover himself again, glancing up into Garrett's eyes shyly. The exhaustion in them was evident. "Can we sleep now and shower tomorrow?" he asked in a small voice.

Garrett gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "Yeah, of course. I can get you some fresh clothes if you want?" Andrew nodded and Garrett quickly went to rifle through his closet. He returned a moment later with some sleep clothes.

Still sitting, Andrew took them. "Thank you. I'm okay to get dressed. I'll be out in a minute?" 

Garrett almost refused to leave, but he quickly realized how selfish that was. He didn't want to let Andrew out of his sight ever again, but he had to give him space when he asked for it. He nodded. "Call me if you need me." He gently shut the bathroom door. 

Garrett stayed frozen for a moment, not wanting to leave the man behind the door. He was eventually able to will himself to leave long enough to change into his own sleep clothes. He rushed back over to the bathroom seconds before Andrew came out, looking nervous. "Um, I don't know what to do with my clothes. Or the blanket. Or-"

"Just leave them. I'll clean up tomorrow. Right now, I just want to put you to bed and make sure you're okay." Garrett held out his hand.

A ghost of a smile graced Andrew's lips as he reached out and took it. He followed Garrett into his room silently and allowed him to practically lift him onto the bed. He watched Garrett's large form walk to the other side of the bed, rolling his body onto his side to keep him in his sight.

Garrett crawled into his bed, shifting onto his side to face Andrew. He wanted so desperately to pull him to his chest and hold him, but he didn't. Andrew needed the power to decide how close he wanted to be, even if he decided he needed his distance. So he was pleased when he felt Andrew scooting closer. "Are you comfortable? Is there anything else you need?"

Andrew exhaled slowly, his breath flittering across Garrett's face. "I need to wake up from this nightmare."

Garrett studied Andrew's sullen expression, a shot of pain pulsing through his chest. He drew in a deep breath, hoping he could find the right words to try to make Andrew feel at least a little bit better. "I wish this was just a nightmare, Andrew. I really do. But when you wake up, your reality will still be what is it now. And that sucks so, so much. But it means I'll still be here. And I'm not going anywhere. I'll help you work through this, help you process what happened, in any way you need me to."

Andrew sniffled and scooted closer, gripping the front of Garrett's shirt with a tight fist. He shivered, even though it was warm in the room. "I couldn't do this without you, Garrett. Thank you. Thank you."

Garrett wrapped an arm around Andrew's shoulders, tentatively pulling him even closer. "I'll always be here for you, Andrew. No matter what. I-I love you." Garrett felt his throat closing up. He wished Andrew could know just how much.

Andrew released Garrett's shirt and snaked his arm over Garrett's side. He squeezed him tightly, as if to say that he did.


	2. The Week After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This story includes mentions of rape/sexual assault. This chapter has a brief reference to the idea of suicide.  
> Sexual Assault Help Line: 1-800-656-4673  
> Crisis Text Line: crisistextline.org  
> National Suicide Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

Garrett couldn't sleep.

He was awake when Andrew drifted off to sleep, completely relaxing for the first time that night in his arms. His slow, heavy breaths warmed the middle of Garrett's chest every few seconds, this sign of life still inside him warming Garrett's heart as well.

Garrett remained awake long enough for the onslaught of emotions to hit him like a ton of bricks. The sting of tears in the back of his eyes was a constant presence, but he never felt the relief of them actually breaking through. He wanted to work through his own feelings so that he could help Andrew with his, but he had a hard time fully understanding exactly what they were. Concern and sadness, for sure. A healthy dose of anger and frustration. A touch of regret.

And luckily, Garrett thought, he was still awake at the first signs of struggle in his arms. Andrew began twitching, his breathing turning into hyperventilating. He moaned into Garrett's chest, pleading for a force that wasn't there to stop.

"Andrew." Garrett wasn't sure if he was still asleep, but he thought he probably was. He let go of Andrew and scooted back, trying to see his face, which was contorted in pain. "Andrew," he repeated, louder and more forcefully. "Wake up. It's just a dream."

Andrew shot up, gasping out a desperate "No!" His head dropped as he started to cry out loud. 

Garrett didn't know what to do. His first instinct was to pull Andrew to him and hold him close, but he knew he shouldn't touch him in such a heightened state. He moved closer to the crying man, tightening his hands into fists to keep from reaching out. "Andrew," he started in a low, firm voice. "You're not there anymore. You're here with me. Come back to me."

It seemed to work. Andrew's cries eventually turned into sniffles as he lifted his head. He glanced around the room, regaining his bearings. His gaze fell on Garrett and he let out a shaky breath. He quickly wrapped his arms around Garrett's solid torso, digging his head into his chest. 

Garrett let his arms fall loosely over Andrew's waist, holding his breath. Andrew didn't seem to mind. Garrett would have given a million dollars for his certainly racing thoughts, but he just let Andrew sit and breathe. He closed his eyes and rested his chin on top Andrew's head, letting however much time needed to pass before Andrew felt okay enough to finally pull away.

When he did, Garrett looked into his still watering eyes. He unwrapped his arms and moved his hands toward Andrew's face, slowly, giving him time to understand what he was doing. Andrew eyes fluttered shut as Garrett took him in his hands, using his thumbs to brush away the tears in the corner of his eyes and the dampness on his cheeks. "Do you want to go back to sleep?" Garrett asked softly.

"I'm scared to," Andrew confessed quietly. "I don't want to go back."

Garrett's eyes softened. "Can I kiss your forehead?" he asked timidly. They had never done anything so intimate in their years of friendship, barring last night, but Garrett didn't know what else to do. He could only think back to when his mother would comfort him as a child. She would stroke his hair, which was out of the question right now, and kiss his forehead. It always made him feel better.

Andrew's eyes widened slightly before closing. He nodded. Garrett leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Andrew's forehead. He let his lips linger there for a moment longer before pulling away and lowering his hands. "Let's wait to try to sleep again, then. Would you like to shower?"

Andrew sighed. He shook his head, dropping it onto Garrett's shoulder. "I don't know," he mumbled.

Garrett didn't quite understand his reluctance. "Don't you want to-"

"Wash him off of me?" Andrew guessed almost bitterly.

Garrett wasn't sure what to say. It sounded harsh when worded like that, but he had to admit that he assumed Andrew would indeed want to try to wash away any remaining grime from that night. He decided not to bullshit him. "Yeah."

Andrew lifted his head back up and let out another heavy sigh. "I do."

"Then why don't you?" Garrett asked gently.

Andrew looked away. "I don't want to do anything. I just want to crawl in a hole and die."

Garrett swallowed the lump forming in his throat. He was used to joking about dying with Shane and Morgan, but this was Andrew. Sensible, having a will to live Andrew. And this wasn't a joke. 

Seeing the panic cross Garrett's face, Andrew let out a humorless laugh. "Don't worry. I'm not gonna do anything. I just wish I didn't have to exist. For a little while, you know?" Garrett sighed, a frown growing on his lips. Of course he understood. "I'll shower if it makes you feel better," Andrew relented.

In that moment, Garrett wanted to take his words back and let Andrew make all the decisions. But he knew deep down that if he didn't push him a little, Andrew could easily remain static in this depressed state. "I just hope it makes you feel better," he murmured softly.

Andrew gave Garrett a small smile. "Could you-?" He cleared his throat nervously. "Would you shower with me?"

Garrett let out a surprised cough. His first instinct was to refuse; he couldn't let Andrew see him naked. Then his mind changed just as quickly: he couldn't leave Andrew, whom he had seen naked himself. Conflicted, he considered. "It would be a tight squeeze," he commented tentatively.

Andrew shook his head, a look of disappointment crossing his face. "Yeah, sorry. You've seen enough of me. I'll be okay." He moved off the bed, but quickly stopped to turn toward Garrett again, a scared look on his face. He stared down at his feet as he waited.

Regretting how that was handled, Garrett stood up as well. He apologetically held out a hand for Andrew and led him back to the bathroom, where he cleaned up the floor and gathered the necessary shower items for him. Telling Andrew to call him if he needed him, he left, leaving the door partly open.

The sun, which had already been creeping up when he woke Andrew up, was shining brightly now through his windows. Garrett decided to do some laundry and prepare breakfast while he waited. He didn't hear the shower start until after the load of laundry had started, but he assumed Andrew was taking his time. 

Shane called during his meal prep and Garrett declined the call. A second later, his phone started buzzing again. He declined once more and typed out a quick text.

**I'll talk to you tomorrow. I promise.**

Garrett didn't know what he would tell Shane right now. He wanted a bit more time with Andrew alone, to feel like Andrew was actually doing better before he updated Shane.

When his stomach started vocalizing its discontentment at being empty, Garrett gave in and started nibbling on his food. He had wanted to wait for Andrew so they could eat together. Maybe he should check on him. It had been a while.

"Andrew?" he called out, rushing to the bathroom. There was no response. "Andrew, I'm looking in." Garrett peered through the shower curtain to see Andrew sitting, arms wrapped around knees drawn up to his chest. "Andrew!"

Andrew opened his eyes and looked up. Garrett wasn't exactly sure if his face was wet because of more than just the water. Andrew's skin was a slight shade of pink, which was probably related to the heat Garrett felt radiating from the shower.

"Andrew, that's way too hot," Garrett chided, reaching in the lower the temperature. He quickly made up his mind. "I'm gonna come in if that's still okay." Again, Andrew didn't respond. "Is that still okay?" Andrew finally nodded.

Garrett stepped back and stripped. There was no room for self-consciousness right now. He had sent Andrew in there alone, and he had to rectify that immediately.

"I need you to stand," he ordered gently, pulling the curtain back again. Andrew struggled to his feet, giving Garrett room to step inside the small shower. There was very little distance between them, which was quickly closed when Andrew reached out for him. Garrett flushed against Andrew's hot skin, but he made no complaints about the fact that bare skin was flush against bare skin. He held Andrew close, chasing away any hints of inappropriate thoughts before they could bloom.

After a few minutes, Andrew allowed Garrett to wash him with gentle hands, running the washcloth softly over his chest and arms. Respecting his wish to stay facing forward made washing his back harder, but Garrett was able to do so while basically holding him in another embrace. After silently confirming with Andrew, Garrett then continued downward until all of him had been covered with a thin layer of soap. He repeated the same process to rinse him off.

"Wash your hair now, hon." The pounding water kept both men from registering the term of affection that accidentally slipped out. As Andrew lifted his hands to his hair, Garrett rested his hands lightly on Andrew's waist. In Garrett's mind, he was keeping him steady and hopefully grounded.

Now completely clean, Andrew followed Garrett out of the shower and let him run a soft towel over his glistening skin before hugging the still wet man once more. Garrett let out a surprised chuckle. "You'll have to dry off again," he reminded him kindly. Andrew acknowledged his words with what sounded like a content grunt.

Garrett allowed himself a second to appreciate this moment of intimacy as he returned the sweet embrace. He felt bad for enjoying it so much, given the situation that caused it to arise, but he couldn't help but feel an inkling of happiness in the fact that he was able to hold Andrew so closely, like he had done so many times in his dreams. If he had the option to, he would have stayed in this position forever.

"I'm sorry for panicking in the shower," Andrew finally mumbled into his shoulder. "And for waking you up earlier. And-"

"Hey," Garrett interrupted. "What did I say about apologizing?"

"Not to?"

"That you have no reason to. Not for any of this. Okay?" Garrett felt Andrew nod against him. With a light sigh, Garrett let go. "Breakfast and then bed?" The genuine smile that formed on Andrew's lips made his heart soar.

They were in bed the next day when Shane called again. They weren't asleep, but they weren't fully awake, so the sudden buzzing of the phone caused Garrett to jerk up on high alert. When he saw Shane's name, he exhaled sharply through his nose. He knew he had to pick up this time.

"Who is it?" Andrew asked, looking up at Garrett with wide eyes.

"Uh, it's Shane. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Wait, I need to talk to him, too."

Garrett didn't question it as he answered the call. "Hey."

"Put it on speaker phone," Andrew said quietly.

Garrett obliged, settling back in the bed next to Andrew.

Shane's panicked voice rang out loud and clear. "How is he?"

"He's actually right here-"

"I'm okay," Andrew cut in. 

"Andrew! Oh thank God."

"Listen, Shane. I know I've been slacking off. I can come in tomorrow and-"

"What?" Garrett and Shane shrieked in unison.

"Andrew, you are not working tomorrow," Shane stated firmly. 

"But-"

"I need you to stay with Garrett and get better."

"But I'm fine." Andrew's lips jutted out in the beginnings of a pout. Garrett ran his fingers over the back of Andrew's hand, trying to comfort him. "I need to be useful. I need to work."

"Fine. Work on getting better. I will pay you double to stay put, Andrew, I swear to God. Then, when you do come back, you can be your best self."

Andrew didn't respond. He rolled onto his other side with an irritated huff.

Garrett's eyes bugged out of his head as he looked over at Andrew, who willingly had his back to him. He knew he should feel bad because Andrew was obviously upset, but he was secretly jumping for joy at this small step of progress. Trying to keep the smile out of his voice, he turned back to his phone. "Hold on, Shane. Andrew, I'll be right back." Not expecting a reply, Garrett got out of bed and left the room. 

Going as far away as possible, Garrett turned off the speaker phone and lowered his voice. "Okay. He's pouting, but he'll be okay."

"Please make sure he doesn't come over here until he's ready," Shane begged.

"Don't worry. I'm watching him closely."

"Is he really doing okay?"

"It's been less than two days, so not really. But he's doing as well as expected, I guess."

"Yeah." There was a pause where neither men said anything. "Garrett?" Shane finally asked.

"Yeah?"

"I feel so bad. I feel like he has every right to hate me."

"What are you talking about? He doesn't."

"Why not?" Shane cried out. "I was there at the party. I could have stopped it. I should have stopped it. If I hadn't let him wander-"

Garrett couldn't help but feel for the man now crying on the other end of the phone. "Shane, you couldn't have known. Andrew's an adult. You're not obligated to keep an eye on him all the time. You couldn't have known. I'm sure he knows that."

Shane sniffled. "I'm sorry, Garrett. I'm so sorry. For everything."

Again, a surge of bitter regret hit Garrett. "Yeah, me too," he admitted softly.

"Can we talk, the two of us? After all this is over? Once Andrew is better?"

Garrett considered for a moment. He would be a liar if he didn't admit he missed Shane. "Yeah. Of course." He sighed. "Look, I'm gonna go check on Andrew again, okay?"

"Yeah, do that. Keep me updated."

"I will." Garrett hung up and made his way back to his bed. Andrew was now flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Garrett lied back down, staring up at nothing with him.

"I'm really okay. I don't need Shane to coddle me," Andrew finally spoke up, sounding like he was on the verge of tears.

"He's not coddling you, Andrew. He's trying to take care of you, same as me. You're _not_ okay, and that's okay. But we _need_ you to take the time you need to feel better, because we both love you so damn much."

Letting out a quiet whimper, Andrew rolled over and shifted closer. Garrett lifted an arm, allowing Andrew to slide up against him. He laid a hand flat on Garrett's chest as he got comfortable in the crevice between Garrett's side and arm, which curled up to hold onto him. If you asked Garrett, he seemed to fit perfectly there.

Garrett and Andrew spent the next few days primarily in that bed, with Garrett holding him one way or another. Andrew would occasionally get spurts of cabin fever, but Garrett was able to convince the antsy man that it was okay to just exist with no responsibilities for a little bit. 

At the end of the week, Andrew half-heartedly tried to convince Garrett to let him go home, saying he needed to pay his bills. Garrett didn't want to let him go just yet, so he offered to pick up his mail for him instead. Andrew didn't put up much of a fight after that. Garrett could tell he really didn't want to be alone.

For every morning, they continued to be woken up by Andrew's nightmares. Garrett would rock the shaking man, holding him close to his chest and holding in his frustrations at his inability to stop these hauntings. The only thing he could think to do in moments like these was let Andrew know that he was there - that he would always be there no matter what - and whisper comforting words accentuated with a tender kiss on the forehead.


	3. A Month Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This story includes mentions of rape/sexual assault.  
> Sexual Assault Help Line: 1-800-656-4673  
> Crisis Text Line: crisistextline.org  
> National Suicide Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

"Garrett."

Garrett opened his eyes, peering down with bleary eyes at the smiling man in his loose arms. "What are you whispering on about?" he mumbled.

"I didn't have a nightmare." Pride shone in Andrew's eyes, causing Garrett's lips to split into a wide grin. 

"That's great!" Garrett cheered, tightening his grip on Andrew.

Andrew let out a light laugh. "Shit. I still woke you up, though. Sorry."

"There's another way to wake up?" Garrett joked, pulling another chuckle from Andrew. Andrew's laughter had always been music to Garrett's ears, but lately the melody sounded extra sweet.

"I'm glad my mind's starting to cooperate with me," Andrew continued, nestling deeper into the bed. "Especially today."

Garrett hummed in agreement, savoring the warmth between them. But after a few moments, he reluctantly let go of Andrew and groaned. "We should probably get up and shower. You should be nice and clean for your first day back."

Andrew whined in protest but quickly gave in when Garrett grabbed his hand and pulled him up. They shuffled to the bathroom, wiping the sleep from their eyes.

It had been a few weeks since Andrew started staying with Garrett. He was becoming more and more himself with every passing day, and Garrett couldn't be happier. Outside of the nightmares, Andrew didn't seem to need Garrett's touch to calm him anymore, but Garrett still found himself in physical contact with him most of the time. Half the time, he wasn't even sure who initiated it. He still held the smaller man in his arms at night and their hands seemed to always be touching in some way when they weren't in use. And though he kept waiting for Andrew to finally decide to stop their shared showers, he had yet to do so.

The shower didn't get bigger, but they quickly learned how to work around each other. Though Andrew would sometimes turn to let Garrett wash his back, they both tended to focus on cleaning themselves. And while Garrett was incredibly happy that Andrew was no longer in his own head, it made him fairly self-conscious now that Andrew had the clearheadedness required to look him over and really take in his naked body. He never said anything about it, though, which Garrett appreciated.

And he had to admit he would look at Andrew's body as well. He told himself it was too make sure he was healing properly, which _was_ true. The bruise on his back was still present, but it definitely looked better. The other bruises were almost gone and it didn't take long for the black eye to disappear. But now, with his reason to look at Andrew fading, the glances out of the corner of his eye became more covert. They also soon became less frequent, for Garrett started feeling increasingly guilty every time.

He wanted everything he did to be for Andrew and his comfort, but self-serving thoughts kept slipping through, no matter how hard he tried to get rid of them. He was so close to Andrew now, closer than he thought he would ever be. In the shower, in his bed, in the kitchen...the temptation to kiss him often became too much. But Garrett held back, because he knew how to after so many years. He held back because he was just Andrew's friend, and just a friend was exactly what Andrew needed right now.

As the two men prepared a quick breakfast together, Garrett felt his heart swell watching Andrew bustle around the kitchen, brimming with excitement. Being outside of the house without Garrett was a big step for him (even if he _would_ be with other people he trusted), and as much as Garrett knew he would miss him in those few hours, he was proud to see how far he had come.

Within the hour, they were standing in front of Shane's door. Garrett regretfully let go of Andrew's hand and reached out to knock. Shane appeared right away. "Andrew! I've missed you!" He pulled Andrew into a hug.

Andrew let out a nervous giggle and hugged him back, shooting a glance in Garrett's direction. "Yeah, missed you too, Shane."

Shane pulled away and looked Andrew over. His eyes then flickered over to Garrett. "It's good to have you back, Andrew. Why don't you go in the kitchen and get a drink? Ryland's there."

Andrew nodded. "Okay." Garrett watched him go, his heart restricting. The anxious look Andrew gave him over his shoulder made Garrett feel even more reluctant to leave him. 

"He looks good," Shane said quietly, shifting Garrett's attention back to him.

Garrett nodded. "Yeah, he's doing great. Just-" He hesitated, not sure what to say first.

"Do you want to come in? We can talk and then maybe hang out like-" Shane faltered.

 _Like the good old days._ Garrett gave him a regretful smile. "Maybe next time." Shane nodded, understanding. "Listen, Shane, call me if you think he needs me."

"Of course."

"This is just the first time we've been apart since-"

"I know. I've got him."

"And it'll just be you three? No one else is coming?"

"Nope. Just us."

"If that changes, let him know before."

"Of course. Garrett-"

"He's still nervous around strangers."

"Got it."

"If he gets a far away look in his eye, let it pass. He'll tell you what he was thinking about if he wants to."

"Good to know."

"And he-"

"Likes it when you cut the crust off for him?" Shane teased lightly.

Garrett let out an amused snort, rolling his eyes. "Shut up." He felt his heart warm slightly as he took in Shane's familiar grin. "And yes he does, so keep that in mind if you make him a sandwich," he quipped before turning to leave. Shane's joyous laughter followed him back to the car.

Garrett didn't leave right away. He just sat in the driver's seat and played music to calm himself down. He was worried. Of course he was worried. But he knew Andrew was in good hands, so the worry gradually shifted to simply a sense of longing. Sure, he would be with him again in a few hours, but after being in his constant company for weeks on end, he couldn't help but feel like something was missing.

Shaking himself, Garrett finally started up the car and returned home. He decided that he would make the most of this time alone, where he could do everything he couldn't do while Andrew was there.

But even while enjoying himself and his solitary activities, Garrett couldn't help but count down the hours until he would be with Andrew again. And so for the first time in his life, he arrived somewhere early.

Shane couldn't hide his surprise when he opened the door. "Yeah, I guess we're done," he laughed. "He's in the bathroom right now, but you can come in and wait."

Garrett accepted this time, though he stayed standing by the door. "How'd it go?"

"It was good! Once, I accidentally touched his shoulder while he was turned the other way and he nearly jumped out of his skin," Shane admitted, embarrassed. "But after that it was really good."

Andrew entered the room. He and Garrett smiled at each other and hugged without a word. Garrett hummed into Andrew's neck, happy to feel him in his arms again after so long. Neither noticed Shane's curious gaze.

They quickly said their goodbyes and departed. In the car, Garrett turned his music on but kept it low so he and Andrew could talk. "How was your day, hon?" At this point, both men had registered the now familiar term a while ago. In fact, neither really knew when they first realized the word had been said, but by then it felt apparent that it was a comfortable thing already, so they never brought any attention to it.

Andrew proceeded to tell Garrett about the day and different ideas he and Shane had been tossing around. Garrett just listened, grinning at Andrew's excitement and occasionally interjecting an "Ah." or "Cool!".

When they went to bed later that night, Andrew started sighing and huffing dramatically, rolling around on the bed like he couldn't get comfortable. Garrett kept from smirking at this obvious attempt for attention. He sat up, pulling the smaller man up with him, and rested a hand on his hip to keep him still. "What's wrong?"

Andrew looked down, twisting his hands together. "I know you and Shane were talking about me earlier."

Garrett was confused. While they did speak quietly, he never thought of his conversations with Shane as a secret. "Yeah, but we're just making sure you're okay."

"And Shane was tiptoeing around me all day today. I'm not some weak, delicate flower that'll crumble if someone breathes too hard!"

Garrett watched Andrew, who was struggling to keep his composure, with saddened eyes. He had never wanted Andrew to believe they thought this way about him. "Come here." Garrett took a hold of his hands. "You're right. Your not weak. You're resilient. You're one of the strongest people I know."

"Being a victim doesn't make me strong," Andrew scoffed.

Garrett stared deep into Andrew's eyes, hoping to convey his sincerity. "But surviving does. And, honey, you're doing it so well." Andrew's eyes filled with emotion, his lips parting slightly. In that moment, Garrett felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him. Restraining, he directed his lips up to his forehead instead. "We want to look after you not because we think you're helpless, but because _we_ feel helpless. Shane feels partly responsible for taking you to that party. And me, I just wanna be there to protect you from now on. And it's not because I think of you as weak, or as someone who can't survive without protection. I know you could do very well without me. But I _want_ to be there for you. Because the world can be an ugly place and I just want to shield you from it because you're so damn beautiful and you don't deserve any of the pain that comes from living in it!"

With watering eyes, Andrew threw his arms around Garrett tightly, digging his head into the crook of his neck. "I'm so glad I have you." Even though his words were muffled, Garrett heard them loud and clear. He wrapped his arms around Andrew's waist firmly, certain in his mind that he wouldn't let go this time. 

Several minutes passed before Andrew spoke into Garrett's shoulder. "You know what I can't stop thinking about?" 

"Hmm?"

"Shane gave me a crustless sandwich for no reason today. I mean I appreciated it, but it was really confusing."

Garrett snorted with laughter as he gently squeezed the adorable, clueless man between his arms.

As the days passed and Garrett continued to drive Andrew over to Shane's place, he began to worry less and less. He recognized that it was silly to feel so invested in Andrew's absence, because eventually he would feel good enough to leave for good and return to his own home. When that happened, everything would go back to normal, which was, of course, the goal. So Garrett constantly reminded himself that there was no reason to feel a little bit sad about it.

On the first day Andrew had off from work, Garrett decided to take him out to the cemetery nearby to go on a walk. It was an activity they started doing early on to get out of the house, and they both quite enjoyed it. It was a peaceful time for both men, walking hand in hand, sometimes talking and sometimes just taking in the sunlight and each other's company.

On the way to their chosen spot, underneath a large tree that provided ample shade, a man passed them. To Garrett's delight, Andrew didn't tense up, even with how close this man got to him. Garrett squeezed his hand, this time to relay pride rather than comfort. Andrew let out a nervous but pleased giggle.

They set up camp under the tree and watched a family visiting a grave in the distance. They sat flush against one another, with Andrew's torso angled so that he was partially lying against Garrett. A bird called above them.

Andrew took one of Garrett's hands in both of his and began to play with his fingers. "You know, I was thinking," he said tentatively. "I'm doing better. Like, with strangers and things." Garrett beamed at him, putting a small smile on his own lips. "But he still has power over me."

Garrett's lips turned downward. "It hasn't been long-."

Andrew set his jaw with conviction. "But I want to try to change that. I want to try to replace these memories with other ones, better ones. Though obviously I can't get rid of everything."

Garrett nodded encouragingly. "I think that's a great idea. Anything I can do to help?"

"Yeah. Maybe." Andrew looked down, suddenly nervous again. "The last hands that were in my hair were his." His soft voice quavered.

Garrett grimaced; thinking about it made him feel sick. He was more than ready to do what he could to help that memory fade. He thought he had an idea of what Andrew was asking of him, but he needed to be sure. He took Andrew's chin in his hand and gently titled it back up, catching his eyes with his own. Fear and embarrassment shone through them. "Do you want me to stroke your hair and tell you everything will be okay?" Garrett asked softly. Andrew nodded and scooted forward, turning so that they were now facing each other.

Garrett reached out and placed a tentative hand on Andrew's cheek. Andrew closed his eyes at the touch. Holding his breath, Garrett slowly slid his hand back, feeling Andrew's soft hair tickle his fingertips. He froze when he heard Andrew's breath hitch. 

Andrew's eyes fluttered open, silently pleading for Garrett to continue. Garrett bit his lip as he continued to move his hand to rest it on top of Andrew's head. "Everything will be okay. You're already doing so well, honey. I'm so proud of you." 

Andrew's facial expression didn't change much as Garrett started stroking his hair back, which he took to be a good sign. So he decided to risk the next step: he threaded his fingers in Andrew's hair. Andrew tensed up and Garrett's heart stuttered; he could only imagine what Andrew's subconscious expected his next move to be. "It's alright," Garrett murmured, starting to massage Andrew's scalp with careful fingers. "You'll never hurt like that again." A small whimper escaped Andrew's closed lips. "I'll never do anything to hurt you," Garrett promised.

"I know," Andrew whispered.

As Garrett continued to play with his hair, Andrew started to physically relax. After a few moments, though, he opened his eyes, which were now glazed over. Garrett ceased his movements until Andrew blinked away the dullness in his eyes. He then started to turn back around, causing Garrett to quickly drop his hand, and returned them to their original position. 

Garrett waited with bated breath to see if Andrew would tell him what thoughts had crossed his mind just then. But when Andrew simply closed his eyes and leaned his head back, Garrett accepted that it was another secret he wasn't entitled to.

Garrett didn't really realize until the walk back to his place that Andrew's whole demeanor had changed. He was now a bit more closed off, as if still deep in thought about whatever he was thinking about earlier. He didn't talk or laugh along with Garrett. He didn't even look at him. Garrett feared that Andrew was slipping back into his prior mental state, and that it was all his fault. Was what he did in the cemetery too much? He didn't want to lose his sweet Andrew again.

Back home, they settled onto the couch silently, watching one another with unreadable expressions. Several moments passed; Garrett considered offering to give him some space and leaving the room. But before he could, Andrew licked his lips nervously and drew in a determined breath. "Garrett, I need to talk to you."

Garrett swallowed hard. A million different terrible scenarios raced through his mind in just a few seconds. "What's up?" he tried to ask nonchalantly.

"I-. Um." Andrew shifted his gaze nervously. Garrett offered his hands hopefully, which he gladly took. "It's been a month since I've started staying here."

"Oh, has it?" 

Andrew nodded. "So...thank you. For everything. But I-I think it's time that I leave."

"Oh." Disappointment crashed over Garrett like a tidal wave. That was indeed at the top of his list of terrible scenarios. "Yeah, okay. If you're ready." Andrew nodded, but there was no conviction behind it. "But if you're not, you know that's totally okay."

"No. No, I've put you out long enough."

Garrett's brow furrowed in confusion. "Put me out? What are you talking about? It's a tiny home, but we're sharing everything, so it's not like you're taking up valuable resources or anything."

"Your time? Your state of mind? It must be so annoying having to take care of me all the time."

"Andrew," Garrett scolded gently. "There's literally nothing in the world that would make me become annoyed with you. You could make me actually sleep on the couch and I wouldn't have any ill will toward you."

Andrew let out a huff of air, half amused and half annoyed. "I just don't want to bother you anymore." 

"You're not bothering me at all, I promise!" Garrett wanted to beg Andrew to stay, but he knew it was selfish to try to keep him. He sighed heavily. "But if you are ready, if you really want to go, of course you can."

"I don't want to. That's the problem."

Garrett was caught off guard by that response. "What? Why? I told you you could stay as long as you need."

"That doesn't mean move in."

"It could."

There was an awkward pause. 

"What?"

Garrett scratched the back of his neck, suddenly embarrassed. "What?"

"You want me to move in?" There was a sense of wonder and disbelief in Andrew's voice.

"I mean, I wouldn't necessarily mind if you wanted to..."

"But do you want me to?"

"Do you want to?"

"Yes." Andrew quickly shook his head. "I mean no. I mean-. It's more complicated than that!" Andrew squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, his face twisted with confliction. "Garrett, I need to talk to you about something."

Garrett wasn't sure where this was going, but he still felt an anxious knot start to form in his stomach. "Okay. About what?"

"What happened that night."

"Oh." Garrett's blood ran cold. He didn't care what it made him; he didn't want to know what happened. But damnit, it that's what Andrew needed from him, he would buckle up and listen. "Um...okay."

"I don't-. I don't mean what he did to me. I mean the events that led up to it."

"Oh." A small wave of relief washed through Garrett.

"Because I willingly went with him."

Garrett frowned. "Andrew, I hope you don't think that makes what he did okay."

"No, of course not. But I need to tell you why I went. I need to. I have to. I need to." Andrew's eyes were beginning to glaze over once again.

Garrett knew that Andrew was starting to spiral and that he had to bring him back down, let him know that he was there for him. He squeezed his hands, hoping it was enough to ground him. "Of course, Andrew. You can tell me anything."

"I just hope you still like me after this," Andrew whispered.

Garrett couldn't help but let out a disbelieving huff. "Andrew, I love you. I promise you, nothing will ever stop me from loving you."

Giving Garrett a scared but hopeful smile, Andrew opened his mouth to speak.


	4. That Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This story mentions rape/sexual assault. This chapter discusses events leading up the rape, including some actions walking the line of being non-consensual.  
> Sexual Assault Help Line: 1-800-656-4673  
> Crisis Text Line: crisistextline.org  
> National Suicide Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

Andrew was irritated. He was irritated by the pulsing music that, if it continued any longer, was bound to give him a headache. He was irritated by the crowd of strangers, hooting and hollering and yelling the incorrect words to songs with very few words to begin with. And he was irritated that the alcohol had yet to kick in.

Skulking against a wall, he threw back yet another drink. Ah, there it was: the beginnings of a buzz. Maybe this party could be bearable after all. 

He hardly noticed that another man had slid in beside him until he heard the rough voice by his ear. "You look like you're not having fun."

Andrew glanced up and saw a tall man with broad shoulders. Despite the many differences - obviously fit body, no glasses, imposing presence - Andrew couldn't help but be a bit reminded of Garrett. But then again, everything reminded him of Garrett. God, he missed Garrett.

"Are you here alone?"

"Yeah. I mean no, I came with some friends. But yeah." Andrew let out a drunken giggle. "The person I wish I was with isn't here. But it doesn't matter either way. It's not like he knows how I feel."

The man raised an eyebrow, interest crossing his smiling face. "Why not?" 

If the music hadn't been so discombobulating, if his mind hadn't been so clouded by the alcohol, if this man hadn't looked enough like Garrett, Andrew would have excused himself and walked away. But he didn't. 

Instead, he spilled his heart out to this stranger, something he never would have done sober. While he recognized this fact in the back of his mind, the words still rushed out. He felt he couldn't really talk to his friends about it, so why not confide in a stranger?

So Andrew told this man all about his relationship with Garrett. How close they were and how desperately he wished they were closer. He told this man why he could never even risk letting Garrett know. Their friendship was too important. Garrett certainly didn't like him back. And even if he did, which of course he didn't, Andrew wouldn't know where to start being in a relationship with a man. He's never kissed one before, let alone had sex with one, and who would want to waste their time on a bumbling idiot who didn't know what he was doing?

"I can help you with that," the man offered, his mouth nearly on Andrew's ear. His voice was low and his breath was hot.

"What do you mean?"

"If you're worried about not being experienced enough for him, I can help you gain some experience."

If the music hadn't been so discombobulating, if his mind hadn't been so clouded by the alcohol, if this man hadn't looked enough like Garrett, Andrew would have said no. But he didn't.

Instead, he followed the man into a darkened room. As the door shut behind him, the sounds of the party quieted, much to his relief. 

There wasn't much time to question the situation any further before the man pulled Andrew to him and kissed him. Andrew did his best to keep up. Like kissing a girl, right? This kiss was wet and sloppy, though. Did all men kiss like this? He hoped Garrett didn't.

Andrew tried to mimic the motions of the man's tongue and lips, the man's roaming hands exploring his body like he was searching for treasure. It all seemed to be going too fast for him. How did his shirt end up on the floor? God, even through all this chaotic energy, Andrew couldn't help but think about Garrett. Garrett. He only wanted Garrett.

Andrew pounded on the man's chest to get him to stop for a moment. The man's breath was heavy and his hands dug harshly into Andrew's sides. "What?"

Andrew shook his head. "I can't do this. I'm sorry, but I can't." He tried to get away.

As Andrew recounted the party with a trembling voice, Garrett held onto his hands, squeezing them whenever they started to shake, stroking the backs of them with his thumbs, and occasionally bringing them up to mouth to gently brush his lips along the knuckles. He soon realized that he never truly knew heartbreak until he had to watch his dearest friend relive the worst moment of his life. 

He let his own tears fall freely, matching the ones running down Andrew's flushed cheeks. Despite desperately wanting to clog his ears and pretend nothing was wrong, Garrett listened intently, taking in every word and raw emotion, because that's all Andrew was asking of him right now.

Andrew seemed to refuse to let his crying affect his telling of the story as he powered through it. Only when he finished saying all that he wanted to say did he take in a deep breath and let out a heavy sob, his pain gushing out of him like a geyser.

Now brought back to that same night himself, where he first saw Andrew in such a horrific state, Garrett pulled Andrew to his chest, holding onto the shaking man like his life depended on it. And in that moment it did, for Garrett couldn't stand to have Andrew hurt this much anymore. He would have done anything to take his pain away.

The two men clung to each other, crying into each other's shoulder, for what felt like hours. Even when he managed to regain his composure, Garrett refused to let go of Andrew until he felt the smaller man was okay, with steady breathing and minimal sniffling.

When Andrew finally lifted his head back up, Garrett stared into his puffy eyes, resting a hand against his damp cheek. "Thank you for telling me," he whispered, his throat scratchy. "Let me get us some water and then we can talk, okay?" Andrew nodded with a weak smile.

As he went to the kitchen, Garrett tried to fully take in what Andrew had told him. He tried not to focus on the actions but rather the reasoning, as that was why Andrew seemed so insistent on telling him in the first place. The biggest take away in Garrett's mind was that Andrew appeared to be in love with another man. And even though the situation wasn't about him, Garrett couldn't help but feel an additional sharp pain in his heart; Andrew wasn't straight and he still didn't love him. It killed Garrett to know that Andrew's heart belonged to another man and he never even talked to him about it. Feelings aside, Garrett would have (mostly) gladly supported him and helped him learn.

Garrett returned with a glass of water in each hand and the two men quickly downed them, a feeble attempt to replace the water they had lost. Garrett then took Andrew's empty glass back and set them aside; they weren't what was important right now. Andrew, who was watching him with an apprehensive gaze, was.

Garrett enveloped Andrew's hands with his own once more. "I'm so sorry that happened to you, hon," Garrett started tentatively. He scrambled to remember what led to this discussion, what he needed to redirect the conversation toward again. His mind kept drawing blanks. "I must admit, I don't quite understand what you're trying to tell me."

Andrew sighed, crestfallen. "I just need to say it," he muttered to himself.

"You-you went with him because you were drunk and missing this other person. You couldn't have known what kind of guy he was. It's not your fault," Garrerr continued, assuming the guilt of it all was why Andrew looked so ashamed right now.

Andrew shook his head. "I'm not saying it is. I-"

"Then if this is you coming out to me, you don't need to look so scared. Of course I support you and love you no matter what."

"No, I'm trying to confess-." Andrew groaned. He pulled his hands back and dug them into his hair in frustration. He took a large, exasperated breath before letting his words rush forward. "In a long winded, terrible, awful way, I'm trying to tell you that I love you. Th-that you're the person that I wanted to be with that night. That I still want to be with." 

"Oh." The single syllable escaped through lips that hardly moved. Garrett's whole body had shut down as his brain struggled to work overtime to get everything functioning again. Garrett's soul had been evacuated from his temporarily broken body, floating above their heads and bouncing between clouds of disbelief and elation.

"So-so you see," Andrew stammered, "I have to go. I-I've already taken advantage of you enough. I-I-I can't let myself do it anymore." Angry tears directed at himself pricked at the corners of his eyes.

Garrett was quickly sucked back into his body, pulled back by the sight of the distressed man in front of him. "Wait, taken advantage of me? What are you talking about?"

"The hand holding? Sleeping with you the way I have been. The showers! I should have stopped all of that long ago. But I just wanted to be close to you and you've made yourself so obtainable to me without even knowing it. Without knowing these thoughts that I have, the ulterior motives I wish weren't there. God, I'm just as bad as him."

At those words, the empathy Garrett had been feeling toward the tormented man turned to rage. His blood boiling, he couldn't contain the burst of anger that flared through him. "Don't you _dare_ say that," he growled, his voice low. "I don't want to hear you ever comparing yourself to him _ever_ again. Do you understand me? You are _nothing_ like him." The fire burning inside Garrett suddenly sizzled out as he took in the fear in Andrew's wet eyes. When he spoke again, his voice was significantly softer. "That man is a monster. And you? You, my sweet boy, are an angel on this earth. I'm sorry I raised my voice. But please, _please_ don't let yourself think you're anything like him."

Andrew exhaled shakily. "I'm sorry," he said in a quiet, wobbling voice. 

"Please don't apologize, Andrew. _I'm_ sorry. I'm mad at him, not you." Garrett reached out, relief flooding through him when Andrew didn't flinch away, and cupped his cheek with a gentle hand. "I could never be mad at you, honey."

Andrew nodded, drawing in a quiet sob. "I know. I just wish I didn't have these feelings. I wish they didn't have to ruin what we had."

"We still have it," Garrett promised softly. "Because I have a confession to make, too." 

"What?" Andrew's lower lip trembled and it took everything in Garrett to not still it with his own lips.

"I've been feeling really selfish, too. I've been thinking that _I_ was the one taking advantage of the situation. Because here I am, trying to take care of my best friend when he needs me most, and I can't stop thinking about how beautiful he is and how good he feels in my arms and how in love with him I am."

Andrew's whole face opened up as understanding dawned on him. His searched Garrett's eyes, looking for any hints of a lie. He licked his lips nervously when he couldn't find any. 

Garrett impulsively leaned closer, ready to kiss those enticing, wet lips, but he stopped himself. It was a delicate situation; he had to let Andrew make the decisions.

"You love me?" Andrew asked with wide eyes. "Even after everything that's happened to me?"

Garrett's gaze softened. He leaned in slowly and pressed his lips underneath Andrew's eye, where the dark bruising had been before. "I told you nothing would stop me from loving you," he murmured.

Andrew let out a strangled sob and gripped the front of Garrett's shirt, pulling him closer. "Garrett," he whispered. "Tell me I'm not dreaming. Kiss me so I know it's real."

His heart racing, Garrett traced his hand down to Andrew's chin, tilting his head up. He drew nearer, seeing every eyelash on Andrew's fluttering eyelids and the exact shade of red coloring his cheeks. Garrett allowed his eyes to close as his lips made contact with Andrew's, applying a light yet firm pressure. He let them linger, savoring the softness between him and the man he loved.

Andrew snaked his hands around to the back of Garrett's neck, tugging him back into him every time he thought the larger man was going to move away, prolonging the sensation as long as he could. But eventually it did have to end, with both men breathing deeply to catch their breath. "I love you," Andrew breathed out, his voice thick with emotion.

"I love you, too, baby." 

Pleased with this new term of affection, Andrew pulled Garrett into a hug. His body trembled against him with happiness.

Garrett stroked Andrew's hair gently, relishing in the fact that he was with Andrew in a way he always dreamed of, but never expected. No words could have adequately explained his state of bliss, so he stayed quiet. He knew Andrew could tell how deeply he loved him without them, much like how he could tell how deeply Andrew loved him.

When they finally unwrapped themselves from each other, it was dark outside. No words were exchanged as Garrett stood and took Andrew's hand to lead him to the bedroom. There, they laid in one another's arms, as close as physically possible, and shared soft, tender kisses until they drifted off to sleep.


	5. The Week After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This story mentions rape/sexual assault.   
> Sexual Assault Help Line: 1-800-656-4673  
> Crisis Text Line: crisistextline.org  
> National Suicide Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
> 
> Everything that goes on between Andrew and Garrett in these last two chapters is consensual! The last chapter will be changing this story to explicit, so if you don't like reading explicit things, this may be the last chapter for you. If it is, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this story!

Garrett shuffled into the kitchen and found the love of his life washing dishes. "Hey, baby," he mumbled sleepily. "What're you doing?"

Andrew turned toward him long enough to flash him a quick smile. "I wanted to surprise you with breakfast, but we put off doing the dishes too long," he laughed.

Garrett rested his hands on Andrew's waist and gently blew on the nape of his neck. He lived for the feeling of Andrew shivering against him.

Andrew giggled. "Stop that," he chided, though there was no conviction in his voice.

Garrett slid his arms all the way around, encircling the smaller man completely, and planted a soft kiss on the chilled skin before resting his chin on his shoulder. "You know, you never made a decision."

"About what?" Andrew asked, his movements slowing, as if he wanted to savor being held by Garrett in this way. 

"About if you want to move in or not."

Andrew hummed exaggeratedly. "I don't know." The laughter in his voice prevented Garrett from taking him even slightly seriously. "I guess so, if you'll have me."

Garrett kissed Andrew's cheek, murmuring into his skin, "Always."

Andrew dropped his playfulness, leaning back against Garrett's solid body. "If somebody told me a month ago that my life could be this perfect, I never would have believed it," he sighed.

"It's been a hard month," Garrett agreed, nuzzling against Andrew's cheek. "But you've come so far and look: now you have a doting boyfriend to hold you in his arms."

"Boyfriend?" Andrew asked, a hint of joy creeping back into his voice. He turned to face Garrett, a smile forming on his face.

Garrett took that opportunity to catch Andrew's lips with his in a short, sweet kiss. "Boyfriend, significant other, lover. Whatever you want to call us." Andrew's smile slipped slightly and he turned his head to look straight ahead again. "Unless that's not what we're doing?"

"No, it is," Andrew quickly objected. "I-I like boyfriend," he decided quietly.

"Well, my dear boyfriend, let me help you with these dishes. Then we can eat and shower before we get you to work."

Garrett and Andrew ended up arriving at Shane's house an hour late. They had taken too long undressing one another, drinking in the sight of each other in a new light. They had taken too long mapping out every inch of each other's skin to wash it. And they had taken too long kissing underneath the pounding water that drowned out the rest of the world.

Shane answered the door with a hint of annoyance, but it soon changed to curiosity when he noticed that the two men in front of him were holding hands. "Hey, guys," he said, a hint of a question in his voice.

Andrew was oblivious to the shift in the air. "Sorry I'm late, Shane." He let go of Garrett and ran his hand through his hair, ashamed.

"No problem. You wanna join us, Garrett?"

"No, I'm going to the store after this to get more snacks for this one." Grinning, Garrett turned to Andrew. "Have fun today." He had to bite his tongue to keep from calling him anything incriminating. 

"Bye, Garr," Andrew said softly, gazing into Garrett's eyes.

Garrett longed to kiss his boyfriend goodbye, and the way Andrew kept glancing down at his lips, he had the same desire. But were they keeping their relationship on the down low? They hadn't talked about it, but Garrett had a feeling Andrew would want to, at least at first. He settled for grabbing Andrew's hand again and giving it a quick squeeze. Andrew smiled and squeezed back. They were too enamored with one another to notice Shane's knowing grin.

Later that night, while half-watching a movie they had seen many times before, Andrew scooted closer to Garrett and picked up his hand, playing with his fingers mindlessly. "You know, when you left today, Shane asked if we were a thing now."

"Oh." Garrett glanced at Andrew out of the corner of his eye. "What did you say?"

"I told him we were. But that it's a new thing, so we hadn't told anyone else."

"Ah."

Andrew glanced down at their hands. "Is that okay? I know we hadn't had time to talk about it." 

"Yeah, baby." Garrett brought their hands up to his mouth to kiss the back of Andrew's hand.

Andrew nodded and cleared his throat hesitantly. "Shane said we should go out with them at some point. In a few days. Like on a double date."

Garrett turned toward Andrew, understanding what must be going through his boyfriend's head. "You think we should go. That I should make amends with them."

Andrew peered up at Garrett contritely. "I think it would be nice," he admitted. "But I understand if you don't want to."

Garrett took a second to think about it. He was hesitant to try again with Shane and Ryland, but he could tell that Andrew really wanted his group of friends back. "No, we can go," he decided. "It would be nice to have my old friends back, especially now that I'm dating one of _their_ friends." Garrett laughed slightly and kissed Andrew's hand once more. "We can try it."

Andrew smiled. "Thanks, sweetheart." Garrett giggled and pulled Andrew to him, nuzzling his cheek into his neck. "You like that?" Andrew murmured, stroking the back of Garrett's head. "I've been thinking all day about what I should call you."

"Mmhmm." Garrett inhaled the scent of the man he loved, enjoying the feeling of his fingers combing through his hair.

"Do you think things will change between us? Now that we're together?" Andrew asked quietly.

Garrett sat back and considered for a moment. A devilish grin formed on his face as he answered, peppering kisses onto Andrew's forehead, cheeks, and lips between words. "Sure. For example, I predict - that the number - of kisses - I give you - will - substantially - increase." As Andrew giggled and pretended to try to escape Garrett's affection, turning a light shade of pink, Garrett couldn't help but marvel as the beauty he was. Knowing that this completely open side of Andrew was reserved for him made his heart explode.

"Garrett!" Andrew squealed. "You know what I mean!"

Garrett chuckled. "Alright, to answer your question, yes, I think it will. It definitely will. And I think that's a good thing, because people change regardless. But now we can change together, and our relationship can continue to grow and evolve into whatever we want it to be."

Andrew hummed, linking their hands together. "I like the sound of that."

Garrett snuck in another kiss. "Me too."

To a stranger peering in, not much did seem to change between the Garrett and Andrew right away. Outside of the addition of kissing, their routine remained the same. But the two men definitely felt the difference. There were no more stolen glances, no more tentative words wrapped in ambiguity. When they touched, they lingered. And even in silence, the intense love they felt for one another was palpable in the air.

The dinner with Shane and Ryland went by without incident, but being around them was never the greatest for Garrett's self esteem. He always ended up feeling too large, like too much, as if he wasn't good enough to find love like they had. Tonight, these fears were less extreme with Andrew by his side, but they still dampened his mood.

Andrew noticed this and, once they were alone again, led his boyfriend to their couch. He sat close to Garrett, stroking his face. "You're beautiful, Garr."

Garrett smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Thanks, baby. You are, too."

"I mean it," Andrew said earnestly. "The first time I saw you, I thought you were a very attractive man."

Garrett giggled. "Yeah? Even before you knew you weren't straight?"

"Mmhmm. And the first time I saw you naked, I realized that you are indeed a masterpiece." Andrew crawled onto Garrett's lap and locked their lips together.

Pleasantly surprised, Garrett gripped Andrew's hips and responded in kind, deepening the kiss. He let out a low moan as he felt Andrew's tongue prodding his lips open. Quickly getting drunk on his intoxicating taste, Garrett didn't realize that Andrew's hand had been sliding down his chest until he felt an unexpected grappling pressure on his member.

Garrett broke their kiss and gripped Andrew's wrist, pulling him away. "Whoa," he gasped. "What're you doing, honey?"

"I-. I'm-. I-" Andrew stammered out, his eyes darting around, suddenly panicked. "Don't you want me?" he finally whimpered. 

Garrett's heart melted. He ran a hand gently up Andrew's back, trying to comfort him. "Of course I want you, baby. I want every part of you."

"Then we should-" Andrew faltered. He swallowed and tried again. "We should-" He stopped again, drawing in a shaky breath.

"Andrew..."

"How can we be boyfriends?" Andrew cried out. "How can we be significant others or _lovers_ if we don't-?" 

"Because we love each other. We don't need to have sex to know that."

"You don't want to have sex with me?" Andrew asked, his voice small.

"No, I'm not saying that," Garrett quickly backtracked. "I would love to reach that level of intimacy with you. But Andrew...not a lot of time had passed since you were assaulted." A whimper escaped Andrew and Garrett rubbed his back soothingly. He continued with gentle words. "I can never know what you've gone through, what you're currently going through, but I know it can take a lot of time to heal after something like that. I never expected you to want to jump into bed with me right away. I don't want you to rush into this because you feel obligated to."

"But if I don't give you what you want..." Andrew tried to reason out, his eyes growing wet.

"I am _never_ going to fall out of love with you because I think you're withholding sex. Yes, we're dating, but you don't _owe_ me anything like that. Remember what I said about our relationship being what we want it to be? Sex has varying levels of importance in every relationship, and I honestly think I could live very happily with you without us ever having sex, if you end up deciding that's what you want. As long as you love me in every other department, I could take care of my sexual needs myself, and I wouldn't want you feeling bad about it."

"Can you really be happy with that?" Andrew asked, his voice quivering. 

"I think so. I will admit," Garrett continued tentatively, "that if it was fully up to me, I would like for us to have sex. But you're a part of this, too. And if you need a week, a month, or even a year to get to that point, I'll be here waiting."

"I-I don't need time," Andrew insisted, reaching down to grip Garrett once more. "I just need to do it."

Garrett searched Andrew's eyes. He saw a hint of love peaking through wild desperation, but not the desire he needed to see. "Do you really want to do this right now?" he asked softly.

"I do. But..." Andrew sniffled. "If you don't...."

"Honey, I'm never gonna say no to you touching me."

"Unless you change your mind," Andrew added quietly.

Garrett nodded. "That's right, baby. Unless I change my mind. And right now, I think I have to change my mind. Because I don't think you're actually ready to do this."

"But I am. I wanna do it. I do," Andrew whined.

"Do what?" Garrett asked softly.

"I wanna-. I want..." 

"You can't even say it," Garrett murmured, not unkindly.

Andrew let go of Garrett and dropped his head into his shoulder, silent sobs starting to rack through his body. Garrett ran his nails lightly over Andrew's back, directing a kiss to his temple. "It's okay, baby. I promise. There's no rush. I'll wait as long as you need. I don't want you to have any doubt or shame or regret going into this. I want our first time together to be as perfect as I can make it for you."

Garrett held the shaking man in his arms close to his heart, which cracked a little bit more with every painful wheeze escaping him. It would have been too easy for Garrett to break down and cry with Andrew, knowing where he was coming from and understanding his currently skewed view on sex, but he resisted. Right now, he had to be strong enough for the both of them.

When his sobs finally subsided, Andrew lifted his head back up, looking into Garrett's eyes with red, swollen ones. He let out a sigh as Garrett kissed away any remaining traces of his tears. "You're too good to me," he whispered.

"Because you deserve it." Garrett kissed Andrew's lips gently as he relaxed in his arms. "I love you. I'll never stop loving you."

When they went to bed that night, Andrew clung to Garrett with a new sense of yearning, resting his head over his heart. Garrett ran his fingers lightly through his hair and whispered that he loved him until he heard a gentle snoring start. It took Garrett a while to fall sleep himself, the thoughts of the day rolling around in his head. He couldn't help but wonder when Andrew _would_ be ready to take that next step.

It didn't come up again until a few days later. Andrew wasn't working, so he and Garrett were lazily lounging in their bed, sharing many kisses that soon turned hungry. He started to squirm more and more noticeably as Garrett stroked his bare side and back, his nails lightly scratching him. Garrett covered more and more area with each lap, the pressure of his nails becoming a little greater. Finally, Andrew sat up. "Garrett, I want to do something with you."

Garrett propped himself up on an elbow. "What did you have in mind, hon?"

"I want to...make you feel good. I want to learn how. Your hands on me right now feels _so_ good. Let me return the favor. Please." The words rushed out as a blush began creeping up Andrew's neck. Garrett didn't respond right away; he simply studied the man in front of him with pensive eyes. It made Andrew nervous. "I-I didn't touch him, not like this. If that's what you're worried about. This would be a whole new experience for me. And I want you to teach me how to do it."

There was a sense of desperation in Andrew's eyes, but this time it was the kind that made Garrett want to move forward with whatever they were about to do. "Explain to me what you want," he murmured in a low voice.

A shiver rolled through Andrew's body. "I don't...I don't think I want to do a lot right now," he admitted. "But I want to try this first step. I want to-to touch you. I want to make you feel good with my hands. Please show me how to make you feel good. Please, Garr." He whispered out the last part, scooting closer.

Garrett took a hold of Andrew's hand and started tracing the lines in his palm. "You really want to do this?" Andrew nodded earnestly. "Remember that we can stop at any time, okay?" Again Andrew nodded, excitement and gratitude filling his eyes. Garrett pressed a long, loving kiss to Andrews's palm, then to each fingertip, before slowly moving their hands lower. Desire filled every inch of their bodies.


	6. A Month Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This story mentions rape/sexual assault.  
> Sexual Assault Help Line: 1-800-656-4673  
> Crisis Text Line: crisistextline.org  
> National Suicide Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
> 
> I want to extend my warmest thanks to everyone who's been leaving kind and wonderful comments thus far. This story of course is a work of fiction and stems from the main idea of Garrett being there for Andrew, no matter what. As always, everything that goes on between them is consensual. They're boys in love if I ever saw any. <3

Garrett found himself wrapped in Andrew's arms seconds after he returned home. "How'd it go, sweetheart?" Andrew whispered in his ear, suddenly making his day ten times better. 

"Alright," Garrett answered, running his hands over Andrew's back. He had just had a much needed talk with Shane and Ryland. He knew Andrew really wanted them all to be friends again, so he decided to had to confront them about their toxic behaviors toward him in order for that to happen. Andrew had offered to go with him as a buffer, but Garrett didn't want him getting caught in the crossfires.

"Yeah?" Andrew pressed a kiss to Garrett's cheek. "They took it okay?"

"For the most part. I think they might actually consider what I said. Even the part about taking a look at their own relationship. It was a little intense, but I hope they are able to work on themselves and not just blame me." As Andrew started rubbing the tension from his back and shoulders away, Garrett was reminded once again of how grateful he was for this loving relationship.

"Yeah, hopefully." Andrew leaned forward again, this time to kiss Garrett on the lips. Garrett hummed happily as he tightened the hold he had on his boyfriend.

It had been a few weeks since the two men had gotten together, and it was the best few weeks of Garrett's life up to date. They had slowly moved Andrew into his new home - luckily he didn't have much more to bring in - so they were now officially living together. Of course, not much changed in their daily routine. The love between them just seemed to grow every day.

It had also been a few weeks since their first discussion surrounding sex. They were taking things slow, with Garrett only engaging if Andrew initiated it or obviously wanted to. They were still plenty active, though. Andrew was very eager to please Garrett, jerking him off almost every day, and outside of returning the favor, Garrett would also occasionally treat Andrew to a sensual blowjob. 

As this kiss deepened between the two men, Andrew's hands slid down past Garrett's back, holding him steady as he started to push his lower half closer to him. He was pleased to feel Garrett mimicking his movements. After a couple more heated kisses, Andrew lifted his heels off the ground to reach Garrett's ear, taking a moment to suck on the lobe before whispering, "Let's go all the way."

With a low groan, Garrett began grinding against Andrew with increased fervor. The shots of pleasure that pulsed through his body quickly helped him forget anything other than the taste and feeling of the man in his arms. Licking and nipping at Andrew's neck, Garrett started to direct him backwards. 

Andrew bumped into the arm of the couch and easily slid up onto it. He spread his legs and wrapped them around Garrett's thrusting hips, letting out wobbling moans. He tangled his hands in Garrett's hair, tugging lightly. 

"Sweethea-" Andrew gasped out, shivering at Garrett's expert tongue on his throat. "Garr-" A grunt forced its way out, again stopping a from finishing his thought. He could hardly think straight, the way Garrett was handling his body. After another attempt, where nothing but a high whine came out, he finally succeeded. "Let me tell you what I want."

"Yeah? You gonna tell me what you want?" Garrett repeated in a low voice, feeling too high to fully register the seriousness in Andrew's voice. He was only focused on making him cum.

"God, I'm so close," Andrew groaned, momentarily forgetting what he was trying to say. His body impulsively quickened its movements until he had no choice but to finish inside his pants. With a few more quick thrusts, Garrett came as well. The two men took a moment to compose themselves, heads hanging over each other's shoulders. 

Though still trying to catch his breath, Garrett had to kiss Andrew. It was a soft, loving kiss, but it didn't take long for desire to fuel the prolonged contact once again. Andrew gently pushed on his chest to stop him. "Wait, I do want to talk about how I want to do it first." Intrigued, Garrett nodded. "Yeah, this is sexy," Andrew remarked to himself sarcastically. With a sigh, he unwrapped his legs from Garrett's waist, though they were still crotch to crotch. "Let's talk about it first," Andrew added in a mocking tone.

Garrett chuckled. "No, I love it." He pressed his lips to Andrew's again. "Communication is very important," he murmured into his mouth before slipping his tongue in once more, almost involuntarily.

Andrew kissed back enthusiastically for a second before gently pushing Garrett away. "Focus," he told him kindly.

Garrett nodded, trying his best to put on a serious face. "Alright, hon. Tell me what you're thinking."

Andrew's fingers tapped against Garrett's chest nervously. "Well, first of all, I want to finally give you a blowjob." Garrett let out a pleased hum in agreement. "And then I want you to fuck me."

Understanding dawned on Garrett's face, a brief flash of concern crossing his eyes. "Are you sure, Andrew? I'll happily bend over for you and-"

"I'm sure." Andrew moved a hand up to stroke Garrett's cheek. "Remember that day in the cemetery? How I asked you to touch my hair?" Garrett nodded. "It's like that. I only want to think of you in that way."

Garrett nodded again. "If this is what you want, baby, we'll do it your way."

"It is. I'll be damned if he's the only person who's been inside of me if I can have you, too." Determination shone on Andrew's face as he emphasized his point with an effective hip roll.

Garrett groaned at the feeling, as well as at the anticipation of being inside this beautiful man. "Whatever you want, baby," he gasped out.

"Just promise me one thing?" Andrew asked, no longer able to hide the fear in his eyes.

Garrett kissed him softly, desperate to remove any uncertainty. "Anything."

"Promise it won't hurt."

Garrett's heart cracked, but he tried not to let it show on his face as he showered Andrew with more light kisses. "I promise. I'll make sure you feel nothing but pleasure."

Andrew let out a small gasp as Garrett slid an arm under his legs to lift him up. Pleasantly surprised, he caught Garrett's lips with his own, throwing his arms around his neck.

Though obstructed by Andrew's head and distracting lips, Garrett slowly made his way to their bed to deposit the smaller man onto the mattress. He crawled over him to keep their lips connected for a while longer before slowly removing Andrew's clothes.

Andrew sat up, running his hands underneath Garrett's shirt. "Your turn." Without a word, Garrett stripped before settling back against the headboard. Andrew scooted closer, running his fingers over Garrett's chest and stomach. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, trailing his hand down to grip his hardening cock.

Garrett's hands wandered up to Andrew's hair. Andrew tensed for only a second before Garrett started to massage his scalp, calming him. Feeling no pressure from Garrett, Andrew lowered his head until he was face to head with his throbbing member. 

Garrett moaned as a tentative tongue licked his sensitive, leaking tip. He fought to keep his hands loose as Andrew became bolder, running his tongue and lips up and down his shaft. It took everything in him to not cum then and there as his erection was suddenly engulfed by a wet mouth, Andrew's fingers lightly fondling his balls. He threw his head back and let the feeling of ecstasy take over.

By the time Garrett choked out a warning, Andrew had applied only some of the techniques he had learned from Garrett. Feeling accomplished, Andrew tightened his lips around his cock. He hummed in anticipation, squeezing Garrett's balls a bit harder to milk out his treat. When Garrett finally shot his load, Andrew proudly swallowed everything down.

"Holy fuck," Garrett panted. He took a hold of Andrew's shoulders and pulled him up so he could hungrily taste his mouth and where it had been. "That was amazing," he murmured between licks.

Andrew was pink all over, embarrassed but satisfied. "Thanks," he said bashfully. "I love you."

"I love you, baby." Garrett trailed his fingers down Andrew's back to his ass, and then to his straining cock, jerking it lazily. "Now it's my turn to make you feel good." He moved forward, driving Andrew onto his back, and crawled over him, running a hand over his chest and up to his cheek. He brushed his thumb over those beautiful, pouting lips. "I'm gonna make you feel so good," he promised in a raspy voice.

Garrett bent forward to attach his lips to Andrew's neck, sucking and licking the heated skin. He moved his way down, his lips sliding over Andrew's collarbone and chest, pausing to give special attention to his sensitive nipples. 

Andrew groaned and grappled at Garrett's body. "But what about you? You need to feel good, too," he whined.

Garrett stopped what he was doing and sat up, taking a hold of Andrew's wrists and pinning them loosely on the bed. "Honey, you already made me feel amazing. Besides, making you feel good makes me feel good," he insisted. "Let's just focus on you right now."

Andrew whined again but relented, relaxing against the bed. Garrett resumed his position over Andrew and started over, licking at his throat once again. As he worked down Andrew's squirming body, worshiping every inch of skin, Garrett reveled in the noises escaping Andrew's lips. He never wanted them to stop. When he reached Andrew's cock, he eagerly lapped at the precum. He allowed himself a few moments to fully focus on and adore the pulsing organ, but he ultimately had a different destination in mind.

As Andrew spread his legs even more for Garrett, giving him direct access, he had to banish any memories from that dreadful night. It was a new day and he and Andrew were in love. Still, he approached with caution, running a gentle finger over Andrew's entrance. He felt and saw him shiver at his touch.

Garrett backtracked momentarily, running his palms up Andrew's legs and quickly following them them with light kisses. He stayed on Andrew's thighs for a while before venturing further, planting soft kisses on Andrew's cheeks. With one last glance at Andrew's face, ensuring there was no reluctance there, he spread his cheeks and, with a hungry tongue, began making love to the most intimate part of him.

The guttural noises that escaped Andrew encouraged Garrett to keep going deeper. He slithered his hand up to Andrew's open mouth; not needing direction, Andrew latched on and eagerly sucked on his index and middle fingers.

When Garrett entered the first of his wet fingers, with a gentle reminder to relax, Andrew let out a loud gasp. Garrett paused, but Andrew grabbed onto his hair. "It's good," he breathed out. "Keep going."

Garrett did what he could to loosen Andrew up with one finger before adding the second. Andrew twisted in pleasure as Garrett pumped in and out of him, curling his fingers to stretch him out. "More," he begged breathlessly.

Garrett groaned, desperate to give him what he wanted by finally entering him, but remembered that he had wanted more assistance in preparing Andrew. "Shit. Be right back," he whispered before shooting off the bed.

Andrew whimpered at the sudden lack of stimulation. He reached down to stroke his penis while waiting for Garrett to come back, staring at where he had gone impatiently until he returned with a bottle of lube.

"Sorry, baby." Garrett pressed another kiss to Andrew's thigh before dousing his fingers with the lube. He returned to what he was doing, spreading a liberal amount of the liquid around and inside Andrew's hole. When he was satisfied, he pumped more lube onto his cock and used his hand to coat it.

Finally ready, Garrett eagerly moved over Andrew again, staring down at his wide eyes and parted lips. He directed the tip of his penis to right outside of Andrew's entrance and then stopped. "Are you're sure, my love?" he asked one final time.

Andrew took Garrett's face in his hands and nodded desperately. "With you, I'm positive."

Garrett bent down to catch Andrew's lips in a deep kiss as he pushed his hips forward slowly, finally, _finally_ entering the man he loved. He kept going until he was completely inside him.

Andrew's face twisted in slight discomfort, but his eyes let Garrett know that he didn't want to stop. He brushed his thumbs against Garrett's temples, nodding at the silent question written on his face. He was okay.

"Just relax, honey. It'll get better in a second," Garrett promised softly, brushing Andrew's hair back with one hand. Andrew nodded, managing a smile.

Garrett felt an overwhelming sense of love as he took in the sight of his boyfriend underneath him and considered what was happening. He was being held in Andrew's trusting hands as they faced this new form of intimacy together. He couldn't stop himself from placing little kisses on his lips and face until he practically begged for him to start moving again.

Garrett didn't let up on the kisses as he began to tentatively roll his hips back and forth, the shocks of pleasure slow and enticing. Andrew groaned, his breath audibly quickening. He grabbed one of Garrett's hands and squeezed tightly as Garrett started to move faster. Still, there was an obvious sense of hesitancy in his movements. "Garr-" he said softly, staring up at his lover with pleading eyes.

"What's wrong?" Garrett asked, his body stilling automatically. He sat up a bit, ready to get off Andrew the moment he asked.

"You don't have to hold back. You're going easy on me. It's sweet and it's romantic and I'd like more of that in the future, but right now I need to feel like you actually want me."

Garrett inhaled sharply, hating the idea of Andrew feeling undesirable. "Of course I want you, baby. I want you so bad."

"Then show me," Andrew breathed out, lowering his eyelids.

Despite the urge to fuck him senseless, Garrett still didn't move. "If at any point you want me to stop, tell me. Tell me and I'll-."

Andrew brought his fingers to Garrett's lips, silencing him. "I know. I trust you, love. I trust you."

Garrett pursed his lips into a kiss before removing Andrew's fingers, linking their hands together once again. He allowed himself one more moment to take in the sight of the man he loved so much, sweating and straining for contact. Pressing one last tender kiss to his forehead, Garrett let the desire he had been holding back loose. He surged forward with one goal in mind: to make Andrew feel good and loved.

Their bodies rocked together in tandem as the pace quickened. Animalistic grunts escaped both men as the pleasure racking through their bodies reached new heights. Garrett kept his eyes on Andrew's face, painted with rapture. He had to kiss his gaping mouth, he had to. He loved this man so much; he _needed_ to be as close as possible. And he knew Andrew felt the same, feeling scratches forming as the smaller man clawed at his broad shoulders, pulling them even closer together. There was no pain - only love.

Garrett snaked one of his hands between their glistening bodies, gripping Andrew's cock firmly. Andrew groaned and cussed freely as Garrett jerked him off in time with his own movements. And before he could give any warning, he came all over their torsos and Garrett's hand.

The feeling was too much for Garrett; only seconds after, he exploded inside Andrew. He continued to thrust until the was nothing left to spill and their collective moans began to subside.

Panting, Garrett crashed his mouth into Andrew's, attempting to explain how fucking perfect they were together without words. Andrew kissed him back, a bit softer. Garrett quickly dialed it back to match his tempo, his lust returning to hibernation to be replaced with nothing but pure love.

When Garrett pulled back to look over Andrew's flushed face, he saw tears forming. His heart stopped. "Andrew..." he whispered, suddenly afraid of what he had done.

"No, these are happy tears," Andrew promised softly, placing a hand over Garrett's racing heart. "It's just...after what happened to me, I thought I'd never feel this way. I thought you loving me like this was just an unobtainable fantasy." Andrew let out a laughing sob. "Fuck. I love you, Garrett. I love you so much. So much..." Andrew squeezed his eyes shut, overwhelmed with emotion.

Garrett gently kissed the tears from Andrew's cheeks and the sweat from his brow. He let his lips linger on his forehead as he encased Andrew's hand on his chest with his own. "I love you you, too, Andrew. Now and forever; unconditionally."


	7. Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual Assault Help Line: 1-800-656-4673  
> Crisis Text Line: crisistextline.org  
> National Suicide Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
> 
> Surprise! For the second day of Gandrew Week hosted on Tumblr, I felt this was the perfect story to have an anniversary moment. This is shorter and a maybe little different than the other chapters, so I hope it flows well enough with the rest of the story. Enjoy this bonus drabble!

"What's wrong, hon?" Garrett wrapped his arms around the man staring somberly out the window, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Andrew melted into the touch. "Nothing, sweetheart," he murmured.

"You've been distant all day, my love. Please talk to me."

Andrew exhaled slowly, caving under Garrett's gentle touch. "Tomorrow it will have been a year since..." He stopped and shivered, already feeling the fear he felt that night crawl up his spine.

"Ah." Garrett tightened his grip on his boyfriend for a moment before letting go. He turned Andrew around to face him and linked their hands together. Andrew looked up at him with a sullen expression. "Tell you what. Think about what you want to do tomorrow and let me know. If you want to be distracted or take a moment to talk it through, or you want to make love all day or get drunk into the night, we'll do it." 

The smile that lit up Andrew's face made Garrett's heart swell. He gave the smaller man a peck on the tip of his nose, pulling a small giggle out of him. "And while you do that," Garrett continued, "I'll plan your other anniversary."

Andrew's brow creased in confusion. "My other anniversary?"

"The one with me," Garrett reminded him kindly, squeezing his hands.

Andrew's eyes widened with realization. "I'm such an asshole," he whispered to himself.

"You're not," Garrett reassured him with a light laugh. "It's not for another month, anyway. And besides, you have other things on your mind right now."

Andrew sighed and dropped his head onto Garrett's chest. Garrett ran a hand over his back comfortingly. "Thanks, Garr. I love you."

Garrett kissed the top of Andrew's head. "I love you, too."

The next day, Andrew decided to do a little bit of everything. After a late breakfast in bed, they spent some time crying with one another as Andrew considered the impact such a traumatic event had caused, even now, a year later. It ended with happy tears as he reminded himself of the integral part Garrett played in his recovery, leading to a sweet, tender love making session. The rest of the day, they watched movies and ate take out, interspersed with heavy petting and sex, before finally getting drunk and accidentally crashing on the couch.

The following month, Andrew once again found himself waking up to Garrett offering him breakfast in bed. "Garrett!" he cheered happily. "Thank you, sweetheart."

Garrett laid their plates down and crawled back in bed next to his boyfriend. "Happy anniversary," he murmured, pulling Andrew in for a sweet kiss.

"Happy anniversary," Andrew hummed. "I love you."

"I love you, too, baby. Eat up. I have some activities planned for today."

Though curious, Andrew didn't question him. He couldn't help the grin forming on his lips. He knew Garrett had been excitedly planning the past few weeks, politely refusing any help, and he couldn't wait to finally experience his ideas with him.

Once they were adequately stuffed, Garrett had Andrew roll over so he could give him a full body massage, which to Andrew's surprise he had been secretly studying up on for this very day. Then, after a quick shower to get the oils off, which quickly became steamy and much longer then expected, Garrett packed a picnic basket Andrew swore hadn't been in their tiny house before, and walked hand in hand with his lover to their spot under the large tree in the cemetery.

The two men settled onto the grass, giggling. They ate their finger foods, giggling. They talked about nothing and everything, giggling. Then Andrew took a hold of Garrett's hand and they both quieted, letting the love flow between them.

Garrett felt his stomach turn the longer they sat there. He was usually pretty bold when it came to things that could end horribly, but right now he was more nervous the he had ever been before.

"Garrett?"

Garrett shook his thoughts away. "Huh?"

"What are you looking at, sweetheart?"

Garrett took in the sight in front of him. He had been staring blankly at the rows of graves in front of them. "Do you see that?"

Andrew looked over, trying to see what Garrett was talking about. "No? Where?"

Garrett got to his feet and pointed straight ahead. "Right there."

Andrew stood up as well and peered forward, gripping Garrett's arm. "I have no idea what you're looking at," he admitted after a moment of straining his eyes.

"It's gone. Don't worry about it."

"Okay?" Confused, Andrew turned to Garrett, who had taken that moment of distraction to step back and take a hold of both his hands. Andrew peered up at him with a cocked head, unsure of why he seemed so anxious and why his palms were suddenly sweating. 

"Andrew, I love you so much," Garrett began.

Andrew smiled. "I love you, too, Garr."

"Life sure is strange, isn't it?" 

"What do you mean?"

"It can toss these trials and tribulations that we have to confront in order to try to live a happy life at us, but it can also offer us the sweetest gifts. Life brought us together. First as friends and then..." Garrett paused, his emotions threatening to suffocate him. He drew in a much needed breath. "As more."

Andrew warmed at this vulnerable display of affection. Garrett often spoke of his feelings, but they were usually in the moment and more of a passing thought. This was planned beforehand, that much he could tell.

"I never thought I would be with you like this," Garrett continued. "I never expected to be able to kiss you and hold you and love you this strongly. This past year with you has been amazing."

Andrew nodded. "I agree, Garr. Being with you is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Garrett squeezed Andrew's hands, brushing the backs of them with his thumbs. "Andrew, I want to be spend the rest of my life with you. That's the only future I can see, the only one that makes sense. In sickness and in health, no matter what life throws our way, I want to be there with you, and I want you to be here with me."

Andrew felt his heart contract. "Garrett, it sounds like you're about to propose to me or something," he tried to joke, a hint of nerves audible in his voice.

Garrett studied Andrew's face until he saw the realization hit, slowly at first, and then like a freight train. Trying to keep a smile off his face, Garrett knelt down on one knee and grappled in his pocket to find the ring, the one he had spent the last month hiding from the love of his life. There was no box, but he held it up for Andrew to see.

Andrew looked down at the man in front of him, unable to hide the shock and wonder on his face. His mouth hung open as he felt a wave of emotions swell up inside of him and build behind his eyes.

"I know we've only been together for one year," Garrett continued, his voice now shaking, "but I've loved you for much longer than that. And I think you've loved me for a while now, too." Andrew nodded, trembling in anticipation. "It doesn't have to be right away, but, my sweet boy, my lovely Andrew, will you marry me?"

The tears that were trapped finally spilled over as Andrew nodded again, so eagerly Garrett was afraid his head would fall off, his throat too tight for words to escape. He let out a strangled sob as he watched Garrett slide the ring over his finger. And when Garrett got back up on both feet, he threw his arms around his neck and crashed their lips together.

"Yes, I'll marry you," Andrew whispered, pulling away to memorize Garrett's perfect, glowing face in this moment. "There's nothing I want to do more than be with you forever."

They stayed standing in each other's arms, staring into one another's eyes and whispering their love for one another, until their legs began to cramp. Andrew pulled away reluctantly, dragging Garrett back down onto the grass with him. 

Garrett snaked an arm around Andrew, pulling him even closer, and dug his head into the crook of his neck, peppering his skin with little kisses. "I'm so happy," he breathed out.

"Everything we've gone through led to this moment," Andrew mused, stroking Garrett's hair lovingly. "I've moved through life, especially this past year, just trying to survive. But with you, it's almost effortless. With you, I want to live."

Garrett lifted his head up to take in the emotion in Andrew's eyes. He brushed their lips together, softly. "This won't make everything perfect; we'll continue to struggle through life as humans do. But together, we'll always come out stronger."

"I can't wait," Andrew murmured.

Garrett hummed in agreement. With a deep sigh, he began to unravel himself from Andrew. "I wish I had allotted more time for this part of the day, but now we need to get ready for the next activity." He started gathering their items back in the basket.

Andrew helped him, grinning excitedly. "You've been surprising me all day, but to be honest, I don't think anything will be as shocking as an actual proposal. So any hints?"

Garrett chuckled joyously. "I'll admit that _was_ the climax of the day, so I'll let you in on the rest of the night. First, I'm going to take you to a fancy restaurant so that I can celebrate with my fiancé. Then, I'll take you home and make wonderful, passionate, celebratory love to my fiancé. And after that, I may do a repeat performance or two, because I love my fiancé so damn much."

"Fiancé," Andrew repeated, savoring the feeling of the word in his mouth. 

"That sound good to you?" Garrett asked, standing while pulling Andrew up with him, stealing another kiss.

"It sounds perfect." 

As Andrew returned home with Garrett, feeling safe in the palm of his hand, he reflected on this moment, the start of their new life. Everything in his past would remain, ever present, but he knew now that they would never shine as brightly as they did before. Now, they had to make room for his future with Garrett - his best friend and fiancé, the man he loved - and who loved him - unconditionally.

**Author's Note:**

> Take care of yourselves and loved ones <3


End file.
